I feel like this might've been something to have started a while ago, but I didn't really think about doing it until now. The moment when I hit forty nine followers I started getting goosebumps and honestly got a little emotional. I had no expectations what so ever when I started streaming at the start of September and I honestly thought I'd stop streaming shortly after I started only cause I've never been much of a gamer. 

At one point I hated the idea of spending an extended period of time playing one game cause I felt like I was wasting time doing the same thing for a long time. Reality is I never wanted to invest in the idea that others would invest in me. I didn't want to put in the effort as I didn't think it would get me anywhere cause I knew I wasn't good at any games to really make good content. Part of the reason why I kept going with streaming was, because of the support system I have had the pleasure to form. 

Honestly, the people around me are the only reason that I've made it this far and will continue to grow. Without the people I have the privilege to call my friends I would not be as entertained or motivated to keep going as much as I do. I appreciate each and every one of them more than they know! Other then the traditional things to be thankful for around Thanksgiving time, but this year I do. I'm thankful for my friends and the fact that I'm fortunate enough to call them friends. 

I decided to branch out of my shell and let other people get to know me and that has been the best decision I could've made. I know I've put a lot of emphasis on the impact my friends has had on me, but it is impossible to put into words the impact they've had on me. I've never been good at being comfortable with other people family or non family, but I'm getting better at being comfortable. I've hated myself, loathed myself, didn't think much of myself, and in turn thought why would anyone think much of me. 

I'm being honest for the first time about how I view myself and I would be willing to tell this story in any medium that is needed to help others understand that even in darkness there is an ending. It's been a rough time and I honestly embraced the darkness at one point cause I thought it wasn't worth fighting. I thought it was destiny to always be depressed, unfulfilled, and empty inside. The main reason I'm grateful to my friends is that Twitch has given me a purpose or the feeling of being a little more fulfilled. I firmly believe I would not have the same feeling without the support system I have and friends that have let me into their circle. The time will come when I have hit affiliate and it will be as surreal as I think it is now. Reality is though it will be all thanks to you!!  

At this point I'm still trying to figure out the best way to balance streaming and finding new games to share with you on stream. I don't want to over do playing some games which has made it hard to find some games to play on certain nights. I will admit that I was leaning very heavily on console gaming and instead of finding new games to play on PC I used not being able to play console as an excuse. This is the price to pay from sharing a system with a sibling, but this is why I'm leaning toward investing in a capture card to stream other console games. 

Yesterday afternoon, I streamed Minecraft for the first time and it went shockingly well for a game that I didn't have much expectations for the game or stream. I've wanted to find an easy game to turn to when I need something to stream. In one stream it is clear I have a lot to learn about how to play Minecraft. I've been thinking about playing this game for years at this point and I'm happy that I finally gave it a chance. One game I'm not sure if I will be giving a chance to is Warframe as I don't know if it really is my type of game. On the other hand we will be joining the Call of Duty world to stream Black Ops III in the near future. I'm not sure if I will head online for COD, but I will start with a play through of the story mode. 

Last night I put together the longest stream I have ever done at 3 hours and 40 minutes the main reason that happened is the people that came into watch the stream and hang with me. I hit a record high with 10 viewers last night and I didn't even know we did until it was pointed out to me. It is amazing to me that last night went the way that it did, because I would've never expected it to happen!! 

As some of you might know Among Us has been my go to game for the channel since I started playing the game two months ago. It is not only my favorite game, but it is an easy game to run on my computer that can be hit or miss when it comes to games running smoothly. I was shocked to see though that the record high in viewers came on Among Us and not when we switched to Quiplash. After careful consideration as well I named two new mods mainly as a way to make sure that I have someone in stream to maintain chat even if it's multiple people at the same time. 

By the end of the night, I noticed that I got two new followers and now hit the nice round number of forty followers. I was dumbfounded by this, because now this means we are only ten followers from the pesky number fifty. I honestly never thought I would get half of that number let alone this close to fifty. I never had expectations when it came to streaming I was just trying something new and wasn't sure what would happen, but everything that has happened has far superseded my wildest thoughts. I will say when that day comes and we reach the destination it will be all thanks you and the support you've shown me from the start. If you put in the time and really do it for the fun of doing as oppose to hoping or expecting a lot to happen quick then the moment you want to happen will happen. I'm proof of that!!