I feel like this might've been something to have started a while ago, but I didn't really think about doing it until now. The moment when I hit forty nine followers I started getting goosebumps and honestly got a little emotional. I had no expectations what so ever when I started streaming at the start of September and I honestly thought I'd stop streaming shortly after I started only cause I've never been much of a gamer.
At one point I hated the idea of spending an extended period of time playing one game cause I felt like I was wasting time doing the same thing for a long time. Reality is I never wanted to invest in the idea that others would invest in me. I didn't want to put in the effort as I didn't think it would get me anywhere cause I knew I wasn't good at any games to really make good content. Part of the reason why I kept going with streaming was, because of the support system I have had the pleasure to form.
Honestly, the people around me are the only reason that I've made it this far and will continue to grow. Without the people I have the privilege to call my friends I would not be as entertained or motivated to keep going as much as I do. I appreciate each and every one of them more than they know! Other then the traditional things to be thankful for around Thanksgiving time, but this year I do. I'm thankful for my friends and the fact that I'm fortunate enough to call them friends.
I decided to branch out of my shell and let other people get to know me and that has been the best decision I could've made. I know I've put a lot of emphasis on the impact my friends has had on me, but it is impossible to put into words the impact they've had on me. I've never been good at being comfortable with other people family or non family, but I'm getting better at being comfortable. I've hated myself, loathed myself, didn't think much of myself, and in turn thought why would anyone think much of me.
I'm being honest for the first time about how I view myself and I would be willing to tell this story in any medium that is needed to help others understand that even in darkness there is an ending. It's been a rough time and I honestly embraced the darkness at one point cause I thought it wasn't worth fighting. I thought it was destiny to always be depressed, unfulfilled, and empty inside. The main reason I'm grateful to my friends is that Twitch has given me a purpose or the feeling of being a little more fulfilled. I firmly believe I would not have the same feeling without the support system I have and friends that have let me into their circle. The time will come when I have hit affiliate and it will be as surreal as I think it is now. Reality is though it will be all thanks to you!!